I’m NOT with the Band

Twenty something years ago I was an amateur Band Manager and my Saturday night quote was “I’m with the Band”. My weekends were spent having a couple lot of drinks and watching live bands in some seedy awesome establishments.

Not actual band I managed, but they were almost as good. Image Courtesy of http://www.rockbandaide.com

Not actual band I managed, but they were almost as good.
Image Courtesy of http://www.rockbandaide.com

Fast forward 20 years and the only bands, I’m talking about are hair bands for my mummy bun and my daughters pigtails.

The other band I am not afraid to talk about is my Lapband or Gastric Band.  I got my lapband in June 2010, (read about that here) because I didn’t want to be morbidly obese and pass on my poor food habits to my children. In the 10 years leading up to having my daughter I had put on 50kgs (read about that here). From having my Lapband in until now I have maintained a 22-25kg weight loss. I have no regrets.

But for the past few years my Lapband has been causing me grief with reflux that medication couldn’t always control. This in turn inflamed lower oesophagus and stomach ulcers (that I didn’t know I had), caused internal bleeding (which I didn’t know about) and these unknown complications potentially caused me to pass out while shopping one day with both my kids (5 and 1 year olds), really scary stuff.  I was thankful to be in Athlete’s Foot Wollongong at the time buying school shoes for my daughter and I joked about the price of her shoes causing the fainting episode. The store owner, staff and random members of the public were amazingly helpful and the kids and I got a free ride in an ambulance.

Initially after some tests they thought my fainting was caused by dehydration and low blood pressure, which dropped substantially when going from lying to standing position. A follow up appointment with my doctor 2 days later and it was discovered that it was a combination of all of the above complications. So although the Lapband wasn’t the cause of this it was a bi-product.

So after the last few years of procrastinating about getting my Lapband fixed or removed it all came to a head and I made the decision to have it removed. I went in for surgery just before Easter for what was potentially a 1 or 2 night stay that turned into 3 nights. The surgeon did warn me that getting it out can be a longer recovery than putting it in and he was not wrong. I had really low blood pressure, blurred vision and vomiting and I felt just plain awful.

So 4 weeks post-surgery I am on the mend, I’m back to the gym on light weights and cardio, getting my head around eating well with no restrictions. I will see my surgeon again in 3 months and I have set a weight loss goal of 9kgs. I am focusing on low carb (not cutting carbs completely) and high protein style eating plan as per his recommendations and every other reputable trainer, coach, dietician etc I have ever met.

I am terrified of weight gain. I have just got to the point in my recovery where I am feeling hungry, I have passed through the liquid diet phase of my recovery and had my chocolate binge, milk and milo fix and ice-cream binges (because they are a liquid) and I have thankfully stopped that shenanigans.

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My latest mantra is “Don’t waste the fortuity”, (because opportunity wouldn’t fit on my Typo Lightbox) I have to remember that the last almost 5 years with the Lapband have not been easy and I have slogged out countless hours of exercise, mummy guilt abandoning the family to go to the gym, emotional rollercoasters, stress, relationship struggles and wondering if I had done the right thing, to let it all slip away by eating and drinking stupidly.

Weight-loss is made in the kitchen so I am focusing on this primarily and exercise secondly because, honestly, the exercise for me is the easy part.

So the future is uncertain but I am going to give it my all now that I am no longer “with the Band”.

MY – Half Row Ho Ho

Some of my readers will know I have been a fan of the Indoor Rower for the past 7 years.

I recently set myself a personal goal to complete a Half Marathon on the Concept 2 Rower.

I recruited 1 friend just by mentioning it and a few others along the way including my coach Ian Gibson from Pioneer Fitness who is an approved Indoor Rowing Instructor. My goal was to complete it before the new year but I amended that to now be before Christmas (I didn’t want Christmas food belly).

So the dates are set my friend Lisa is completing her HM this Saturday 13 December and I will be completing mine on Saturday 20th December along with my 3 other buddies. The events will be held at my awesome gym EnVie Woonona starting around 7am on each of the days.

Inspired by Australian comedian Hamish Blake’s goal of completing a Marathon on the Rower and raising funds for The Salvation Army, I wanted to make my metres count so I have started a fundraising page on Shout for Good. FYI Hamish completed his Marathon last Sunday 7th December at a cracking pace and for those who know their Rowing numbers it was 42,195m in 2 hours 58 min 26.1 seconds a cracking average pace of 2.06.8 per 500m and an average strokes per minute of 27.

My training over the last few months has been wide and varied including a few distances I have never tackled before a 12k and a 15k straight row and surprisingly did a better average pace on the longer distance. Leave a comment if you want to hear more about my training rows I’m happy to share.

So support me in making Christmas a little brighter for those less fortunate and donate here to support the Salvos and the wonderful work they do. Every little bit counts and adds up, so don’t think you can’t make a difference.

Follow along on Facebook and Instagram with our hashtag #halfrowhoho

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The pain starts here.

 

I’m having a moment

Tonight I am spiralling out of mental control. I am analysing and over-analysing my life, my goals, my body, my family, my reasons for doing all that I do and trying to figure out why I am doing it and who I am doing it for.

Tonight’s options as I saw them were A) go and have a shower and go to bed and everything will be fine tomorrow and I will just carry on doing what I am doing, or B) write that crazy shit down and share it with the world.

It all started tonight with my weekly group PT session, I took my little dude “Mr Just Turned 1” and asked my friend to bring her daughter to play with him. Whilst she did her best to entertain him, about 20 minutes into the class he got a glimpse of me and starting screaming, several attempts to calm him and get back to the class failed, I assumed he was probably tired, so I packed us up and went home, I don’t know about you but I can’t finish a workout hearing my baby crying.

The next thing that was getting me worked up was my daughter reading the Junk Mail toy catalogues and getting all excited about Christmas. I was trying to calm her down and say you can ask for things but you may not get them. How do you explain this to a 5 year old, who gets almost everything she asks for? I really want her to have a lean Christmas and not for any other reason than she has too much stuff. Last year after opening all her presents she said where are the rest, it made me want to cry.

So I thought my spiralling mental state was caused by an interrupted workout, upgraded by a spoilt 5 year old. I then started the plotting and planning with my husband as to his start time and when I might be able to get some kid free time at the gym, and I opted for 5am tomorrow, but really who wants to be at the gym at 5am.

The next mass of analysing and in no particular order:
why am I going to the gym so much;
I should be spending more time with my kids;
why do I feel guilty about working out;
why did I even contemplate taking little dude to an evening class, he needs to be home snuggling with a bottle;
why did I have lapband surgery when I still eat crap A LOT;
why am I dreaming of losing weight when I eat the wrong foods;
why can’t I be happy as I am and therefore stop going to the gym;
was I happier when I was fatter and inactive;
why am I nagging my husband to go to the gym when clearly it is not something he wants to do;
does he resent me for nagging him, when all I want is for him to be healthy;
why am I like I am;
why have I had such issues with food ALL MY LIFE;
why should I go to the gym at 5am, what is the point;
maybe I’m not spending enough quality time with my daughter and she is compensating by asking for things, you know PRESENCE not PRESENTS;
what can I eat RIGHT NOW, I’m upset so I deserve something;
would I be happy if I was at my goal weight;
why is my house such a mess, maybe I should spend less time at the gym and more time cleaning;
(I was vacuuming with tears whilst all these crazy thoughts were going around in my head)

I could keep going on ……….

Now amongst all of these negative thoughts I did have a few positives:
I go to the gym because I feel better after;
I’m really enjoying my indoor rowing and training for something (half marathon on the rower);
I prefer to workout for fitness not for weight loss;
I deserve a little ME time every once in a while;
I love to hate running;
running is stupid but now I can do it because I taught myself;
I enjoy being around people.

So there it is, tonight’s mind on a PLATTER (and there’s that food thing again).

Anyone care to share that they could be as loopy as me, don’t leave me hanging out here in crazy land all by myself.

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Stop the Procrastinating – 10 Goals to a better me

Goal setting has aided me in the past and whilst I have had these in the back of my mind for a while I was inspired by reading a blog Imperfect Life to put fingers to keyboard and get this documented. Andrea has also had WLS (weight loss surgery) so I connected with a lot of what she had to say and completely agree the Surgery is a tool which sparked a complete overhaul.

The problem I have found with WLS is that whilst it treated the immediate problem of weight, it doesn’t always fix the underlying problem of food addiction, so for many like me it is a constant battle.

Andrea runs a Fitness Challenge whereby she encourages you to participate in 10 races or your own fitness goals which will physically challenge you to be faster, stronger and better than you were before. I am not participating in her challenge but it really struck a chord with me because whilst I used to compare myself to others and I am still curious about what other people do, lift and run, I am much more focused now on beating myself.

So here are my 10 Races/Goals: 

  1. Go skydiving. Hubby bought me a voucher for my 40th Birthday so now over a year and a half later I am busting to do it. I have to weigh a maximum of 105kgs so I am aiming to weigh 103kg before booking my date.
  2. To crack the double digits weight goal. 99kgs by the end of September 2014.
  3. Pinkies Triathlon – October 2014 Long course (which in the world of Triathlon is like an Enticer).
  4. Leg Press “The Stack” at my Gym EnVie Woonona which is 103kgs x 5 reps. (Currently 82kgs 3 sets of 10 reps 15 July 2014)

    The leg-press stack, currently at 79kg plus the 3kg drop = 82kg, watch this space.

    The leg-press stack, currently at 79kg plus the 3kg drop = 82kg, watch this space.

  5. Play a Paintball Tournament – The Masters November 2014
  6. Mud Run or similar before Christmas 2014.
  7. Run 7km non-stop. (Just cracked 5k on 12 July 2014 and beat my time today 26 July 2014).
  8. Aquathon – Australia Day 2015
  9. Husky Enticer Triathlon – Feb 2015
  10. Sydney City to Surf 2015 – 14k (more of a longer term goal but it’s on my bucket list, run, walk or crawl, who’s keen?).

So there are my goals, I will keep you updated on my progress. Who has some goals they would like to share, I love to hear what everyone else is striving to achieve.

Challenge Accepted

Rewind my life 6 weeks ago and things were very different. I was wrapping my head, once again, around weight loss and ongoing lifestyle changes. My motto was “Everyday Better Choices”.  I somehow got myself into the right headspace, which in my personal opinion is the ONLY thing you need to lose weight. I don’t know where it came from and how it took over the “Evil Food Queen”, but it has so let’s run with it.

My awesome gym EnVie Woonona was running a 36 Day Challenge and a weight loss seminar, in my endeavour to keep my momentum going I opted to participate in the challenge and attended the seminar. Knowledge is power and I came away from the seminar with a new vigour, re-enforcing things I already knew and learning some new key points.

Die fat

These are the things I really truly embraced:

Planning – “Proper Planning Prevents (Piss) Poor Performance” – the extra P word usually gets a run in our house, you may choose to leave that one out.
Meal and snack planning has been a major contributor to my success, it is not for the lazy or unmotivated. I personally found this more challenging than getting my butt to the gym. I have been working out for 7 years WITHOUT consistent weight loss, so exercise is never my problem. Even portions were not a huge problem, but the kitchen scales came out, and almost every morsel that went into my mouth (when possible) was weighed.
My biggest problem has always been snacking, finding healthy snacks to eat when you are on the run. Grocery shopping is hell and cooking is only fun when I want to do it and it’s usually cake. When I stop for fuel regardless of the time of day, filling the car up usually earned me a reward and the evening munchies I could rustle up some horrendous high calorie food with almost nothing in the cupboard (it’s a skill). These were the things I had to change. So my replacement snacks were hummus and carrot sticks, 1 row of rice crackers and a slice of cheese, protein ball/s*, peanut butter  and banana muffins*, vita wheats with light cream cheese and a small tin of salmon, dried fruit and nuts, small bag of lite microwave popcorn (I didn’t even know the small bags existed), apple or strawberries. I know some of these choices are better than others, but compared to what I could have had, it is a complete turnaround.
* These recipes came from the EnVie 36 Day Challenge Booklet

Eliminate – My mission was to get rid of as many things in the house as I could that I would normally “go-to” when I felt the urge to make bad choices. Some people can have a square of chocolate, I am NOT 1 of those people, I am a minimum of a row at a time and could easily consume ½ or whole family block in 1 sitting no problemo. I would sometimes buy a bag of Corn Chips for a nacho dinner, very rarely would they make it to that meal. I also love and Icy cold can of coke and a coke slushy, but they are wasted calories, I will confess I had 2 coke slushy’s in 6 weeks. Alcohol was creeping up to a couple of glasses to a bottle of champagne a few nights a week and often more on the weekend. This has been stopped, now only on special occasions and I have opted to drive to some events so as to only have 1 glass or none at all. This is a big change for me.

Set Goals – Small weekly goals, mini weight goals all leading to the bigger picture. Whilst I haven’t posted my latest goals they are in my head and I will post them this week to be held accountable and measure my success. “Failure is not an option”.

Everyday Better Choices – I enjoy a skim chai latte a couple of times a week and somehow crept up to a Jumbo size, these got a major cutback to a small once or twice a week. Every time I wanted something I shouldn’t have I would think, is this better than I would normally have, ie snacks at the movies, toppings on pizza, homemade pizza vs store bought. I will admit I am enjoying making my own food as I am often disappointed with take-away and café options, it just takes planning (see above).

Mindset – as I mentioned my head is in the game (it is all the game of life), not letting things get to me that would normally derail my mindset and I will confess there have been a few things in this 6 weeks that could have easily done that, I had to deal with my problems and not eat/drink them away. End result is everyone is happier (I think).

Support – I had to ask people for support, don’t be afraid to ask. Hubby had his part to play, if he felt a craving or a desire to have something, I asked that he not share it with me. The words “chocolate” and “McFlurry” were banned from evening conversations. My problem is I am not lazy, I will jump in the car and do a junk-food run at the first mention of “I feel like…….”
Friends on weekends away and dining out have all supported my better choices. Some friends today actually apologised for having easter eggs, cupcakes and biscuits, they shouldn’t have apologise, nor their kids go without because of my food choices. I proudly said “no thanks” because I truly didn’t want any, my fear of not being able to stop at just 1 is always in the back of my mind.
The girls at the gym are a massive support network, all the staff knew I was participating in the challenge and took the time to have a chat about whatever concerns I had about nutrition or exercise. Some of them were even participating in the Challenge themselves so they could discuss recipes and meal planning, it was fantastic.

Today was my final weigh and measure for the challenge and a little bit of “Old Me” came back with thoughts of launching from this fast moving wagon to go on a binge after weigh-in (because I can recover before I have to weigh-in again, please tell me other people think like this). Instead I packed my breakfast and lunch plus snacks for the kids and took it with me to our playdate. A binge is still lingering but with more support from the girls at the gym it is taking a back seat to just carrying on with what I have learnt from the Challenge.

So here are the results:
Start                      Finish                    Loss
Weight                 112.3                     108.3                     4kg
Arm                       40                           39                        1cm
Bust                      121                        118.5                     2.5cm
Waist                    127.5                     124                        3.5cm
Hip                        137                        132.5                    4.5cm
Thigh                     64                          62                         2cm

So 4kg down and 13.5 total cm’s lost, I am pretty happy with the results and the wagon is still rumbling along with me securely aboard.

PS: I’m at pre-baby weight, woop woop.

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Want a 15 day FREE Membership, leave me a comment. Offer ends 30 April 2014.

Week 4 Challenge Wrap Up

This week of the Challenge the motto was “Confidence comes from success. Don’t give up”.  My 2 personal goals were in line with this motto, 1) Don’t doubt yourself and 2) Go hard in every training session.

My meal planning and actual food went like this.

Mon – Grilled fish with sweet potato salad
Tue – Beef and vegetable lasagne
Wed – Salmon and sweet potato
Thur – Chicken and bean enchiladas (Actual meal – homemade pumpkin soup)
Fri – Homemade Pizza
Sat – BBQ Calamari Salad (Actual meal – Homemade Pizza.)
Sun – Herb Crusted Lamb

As for my goals I was fairly confident in my meals and planning, I did, however have a couple of bouts of reflux so I didn’t feel like eating much and I struggled to eat 5-6 times a day, hence pumpkin soup instead of my planned meal. I also had to take my little man to the doctor and got myself checked whilst I was there and she diagnosed both of us with a Virus, mine was ear and sinus related and she told me to hold off exercise for a while which was tough considering my 2nd goal this week. I really had to focus on the food and not get myself down and hit the chocolate or junk (not that there is any in the house).

I took 4 days of rest and then tried to go hard with a road run which I haven’t done in about a year. I was aiming to run as much as I could of a 5k circuit, after a bit of a warm up walk I started to run and managed to continue (very slowly) for 32 minutes. My previous best post baby was 14 minutes on the treadmill, so I was pretty happy with my overall progress. I will be back to 5k non-stop running in no time.

I have been busy this weekend with my big girl having a little surgery and my meal planning for this last week of the challenge has been put out a day or 2, I did however order my groceries online and took a trip to the fruit shop and there are still no bad choices in the house. I also have a fairly severe case of OCPC Obsessive Compulsive Portion Control, I am weighing almost everything I put in my mouth. I know I won’t have to do this forever but it is great to give yourself a reality check every few months to get any overeating (even if it is good food) under control.

I’m scared but excited for my final weigh and measure this coming Thursday and I will report back with the results.

I will leave you with these wise words from the EnVie Challenge booklet:

“It’s not what you do now and then that shapes you, it is what you do every day”

Meal Planning – Week 3

Here is the wrap up of week 3 of my 36 Day Challenge.

This week of the Challenge the motto was “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”.  My 2 personal goals were to make good choices when ordering out and to continue to eat 5-6 meals a day.  So again I did a meal plan for my dinners:

Mon – Beef stroganoff
Tue – Beef Pie with garlic peas
Wed – Chicken and bean enchiladas (Actual meal – went out for Mexican, I had 1 Fajita but then I made the mistake of looking at the dessert menu, hubby and I shared Churros)
Thur – Beef and vegetable lasagne (Actual meal – deli style salad)
Fri – Take away Thai (Actual meal – 2 steamed dumplings, Indonesian style Sate BBQ chicken, garlic and ginger seafood, small portions of each)
Sat – Catered Meal (Actual meal – Beef Massaman curry plus green beans– meal was served with rice and bread and I didn’t have any.)
Sun – Herb Crusted Lamb (Actual meal – platter with ham, rice crackers, hummus, carrot sticks – too tired to cook).

I was away from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon at a Scrapbooking Retreat and my previous self-imposed reputation as queen of the junk food had to be squashed. Normally I would do a shop run for copious amounts of chocolate, chips and soft drink. This time I did a shop run for little tins of salmon, portions of ham and some cream cheese and prepared the night before by making hummus and protein balls.  My weaknesses tend to hit when I’m tired and on these type of weekends we stay up late, so by Saturday I am constantly tired.

Saturday afternoon 12 out of the 30 women got up from their seats and went and did a 1 hour workout session that I had organised from the girls at EnVie Fitness. Definitely felt great after that, but as I got tired into Saturday evening I buckled and had 5 small Maltester chocolates, 2 kiddie size packs of Smith’s Chips and 2 pieces of Coconut slice (evening snack provided by the venue). I felt bad about all of those choices but the deed had been done so as morning came I just had to move on and get back on track. All other meals were provided by the venue and I opted at most meals to avoid high carb options such as wraps, bread rolls and toast and keep a good eye on my portions.

Some of the evidence of what was my little chocolate binge.

Some of the evidence of what was my little chocolate binge.

Overall this week I had no Alcohol, no sugary drinks at all, it was water all the way. My few slip ups of Churros and Saturday nights little binge were disappointing but I must move on.

So food wise I would rate that I was about 75% on track and exercise 100% all 4 sessions planned were done plus the Fit Fab Forty monthly challenge of push-ups were mostly done.

My planning and some shopping has been done for Week 4 and some food is already made and portioned. I will leave you with these wise words from the EnVie Challenge booklet:

“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly”

Meal Planning – Week 2

So here we are wrapping up week 2 of my 36 Day Challenge. The first week of the Challenge focused on nutrition with the aim to eat 5-6 good meals per day, this week was focusing on exercise but not forgetting about nutrition.

So again I did a meal plan and my friends and Facebook followers were keen for me to post some dinner ideas again. So this week I will give you a rundown on my meal plan plus 1 of my favourite lunch options and a few great snack ideas.

So the meal plan looked like this:
Mon – Balsamic Steak with cannellini mash (Actual meal – yep I did it I ate what I planned)
Tue – BBQ chicken burgers (Actual meal – yep did it again)
Wed – Beef and vegetable lasagne (Actual meal – 3 days in a row boom)
Thur – Beef Pie with garlic peas (Actual meal – leftover lasagne, why cook when you can reheat)
Fri – Homemade Pizza (Actual meal – Homemade Pizza chicken and pesto pizza)
Sat – Healthy Take-away (Actual meal – Homemade Pizza again)
Sun – Beef Strog (won’t be having this tonight as we are going out so will have to make good choices).

Some snack ideas I have run with this week were homemade hommus and carrot sticks, peanut butter flourless muffins and my “always have in my handbag” option of mixed nuts (properly weighed portions of all of these pre-made).

My favourite fast and easy lunch this week, smoked salmon, cream cheese and rocket wrap. Delicious.

My favourite fast and easy lunch this week, smoked salmon, cream cheese and rocket wrap. Delicious.

So again I was pretty happy with my food choices and what I put in my mouth all week, except Friday night Pizza was accompanied by homemade margaritas. I am pleased that even though I have scheduled it in, there has been no take-away for dinners.

So food wise I would rate that I was about 80% on track (damn those margaritas) and exercise 120% all 4 sessions planned were done plus an extra session (as punishment for margaritas) and the Fit Fab Forty monthly push-up challenge is continuing.

Planning is about to commence for Week 3 but needless to say there are lots of good options stocked up in the freezer and fruit and veg shopping has been done.

I will leave you with these wise words from the EnVie Challenge booklet:

“There are so many tomorrows….. DO IT NOW”

PS: I’m a little bit scared for tomorrow’s half way Weigh and Measure I never like the scales.

Meal Planning – this is new to me

So last Monday I started a 36 Day Challenge with my gym EnVie, encompassing nutrition and exercise. It teaches you what to eat and when to eat it and most important key to success is meal planning.

I have meal planned before but not for a loooong time. My normal routine would be to open the fridge see my ingredients, if nothing popped into my head I would hit up Google and usually find something tasty to make. I may plan 1 day in advance to put something in the Slow cooker the morning before work but that’s about it. I must say hubby is no help in the dinner department, when I ask what he feels like the usual responses are “I don’t know” or “what do you feel like”. And let’s not go there when I ask Miss 4, her responses range from “Old McDonalds” to a “Restaurant”, we don’t eat out that much so I don’t know where that comes from. I am often cooking 2 meals or variations to suit everyone including myself so this week I was attempting to limit the different meals and plan ahead.

So the meal plan looked like this:
Sun – Lamb Rissoles with sweet potato chips (Actual Meal – Lamb rissoles with flatbread, tzaziki and rocket)
Mon – Beef stroganoff with cauliflower puree (Actual Meal – Beef and vegetable lasagne)
Tue – Beef and vegetable lasagne (Actual meal – beef and vegetable Lasagne)
Wed – Chicken Rosemary hotpot (Actual meal – chicken Rosemary hotpot)
Thur – Chicken enchiladas (Actual meal – Lamb cutlets with parmesan herb crust)
Fri – Homemade Pizza (Actual meal – Homemade Pizza chicken and pesto pizza)
Sat – Thai take-away making better choices (Actual meal – Homemade chicken tenders)

I don't often like a full length photo but I felt really good in this outfit and received lots of compliments.

I don’t often like a full length photo but I felt really good in this outfit and received lots of compliments.

So all in all fairly close to the plan and everything except Sat’s dinner out of the 36 Day Challenge Recipe List. Saturday I was allowing myself a non-judgemental day with food and alcohol as I went to the races for a friend’s birthday. In saying that I was better behaved than normal in both departments and opted to come home after the races instead of kicking on with the girls and actually got up to do an 8am Sunday training session.

Variations were minimal for Miss 4, she had mince and homemade corn chips out of flatbread instead of lasagne, her chicken was not in the hotpot and her lamb was not herb crusted.

So food wise I would rate that I was about 80% on track and exercise 100% all 4 sessions planned were done, plus the Fit Fab Forty monthly push-up challenge was about 90% done on the right day.

Planning and shopping list all done for Week 2 so I will leave you with these wise words

“PROPER PLANNING PREVENTS POOR PERFORMANCE”

Eating Disorder – I’m not Fat

Eating disorders can come in many forms, anorexia, bulemia, binge eating and many many more. I look back at my history and believe I have a form of eating disorder, I thought it could have been a Reverse Anorexia but that is a known muscle dysmorphia, definitely not what I have.

My (unnamed) problem over the years was more about looking in the mirror and turning on an angle and sucking myself in putting on nice clothes, applying make-up and saying to myself “you are not fat, you look good”.

There is nothing wrong with being happy with how you look but I should have looked a bit closer. I like many other women enjoyed shopping and but I would struggle with finding clothes that fit and looked nice, but I would eventually find them and feel good wearing them. And each time I bought the next size up I would blame the factories for inconsistent sizing. I often got compliments like “you dress really nice for a big girl”. I was also a keen shopper for “gut sucking” granny nickers, shorts and camisole’s and I wore them all the time (and still do).

Reality would hit when I saw a photo of myself from an unflattering angle and then I would almost blame the person who took the photo.

It seems a lot of other people were blamed for my issues.

Don’t get me wrong I knew I was Plus Size and I knew the weight was creeping on (read about it here), I was obviously enjoying life too much and wasn’t ready for change. It wasn’t until I was due to get married that I thought I didn’t want to be a fat bride and embarked on my own NFB (No Fat Bride) campaign with my personal trainer. Whilst I lost a little bit of weight, I could have lost more before the big day and it is a regret I will have to live with.

In recent years the weight loss programs that have sparked my interest are those that promote “Lifestyle Changes” and my motto has been to make better choices every day.

When the next 36 day challenge came up at my gym EnVie Fitness Woonona, I jumped at the chance to get involved. I am in the best headspace that I can remember so I am on a mission. I have learned a lot this week about weight-loss using food and exercise to my advantage so it is time to put that knowledge into practice. The official start date is Monday 10th March but I am not waiting lifestyle changes begin now.

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If anyone is doing The 36 Day Challenge at EnVie Fitness Woonona if you post anything about the challenge on Facebook or Instagram use the hashtag #enviewoonona36daychallenge if you are making any other lifestyle changes use #everydaybetterchoices or use both. I look forward to reading up on how everyone else is going.

It’s not too late to sign up and join in.