My dirty little secret

Aaahhhh school holidays, a time that some mums love and some dread. I sit on the fence when it comes to school holidays. I enjoy doing the fun stuff with the kids, movies, play dates, lunching and just hanging at home and love the lack of schedule, no yelling and screaming to put shoes on grab bags, jumpers, hats (I’m sure you get the picture). But even with all the fun some days you just need an hour to yourself to have a shower, do a workout, plan or prepare dinner, I’m sure there are some mums nodding along with me (please tell me you are). And I am blessed that I can take the kids to work with me when I need to (the perks of working for family).

This holidays I have taken things to a whole new level of “falling off the wagon”.

The last day of school was a Friday which also coincided with my husband going on an overseas trip and a 7am drop off at the airport, this was all fine, followed by kids dropped at school/daycare on time and me heading off to work. On the way to work I realised I needed fuel in my car so I stopped to fill ‘er up. Well the sales and marketing people at Coles saw me coming, 2 family blocks of chocolate for $7 what a bargain and $2 large bags of chips, “I’ll have 2 bags of those thanks” after all it was Friday and people might pop in over the weekend (this is what I do to justify it to myself). And there began the downhill spiral that was the next 10 days.

On the way home from work I did a quick run to the bottle shop for some supplies for the week and promptly bragged jokingly about it on Instagram.

With a post that went something like this "Should be almost enough to get me through the 1st week of the #schoolholidays

With a post that went something like this “Should be almost enough to get me through the 1st week of the #schoolholidays

Whilst I won’t bore you with the details of every morsel that I ate and drank, I’ll give you a list of what I can remember about my total debacle of a week* (*10 days).

3 family blocks of Cadbury chocolate
Somewhere in the vicinity of 4 large bags of chips
Half a litre of Ice Cream
2x Schnitzel Cotoletta (this is a chicken schnitzel topped with Bolognese meat and melted cheese, I didn’t even know it existed, epic find)
1 loaf of Sourdough in about 3 days often doused in butter and peanut butter (up to 3-4 pieces at a time)
Copious amounts of other bread products
KFC twister and Crusher
Movie popcorn (I shared it, because that makes it all better)
Double choc-top (because a single just wasn’t enough and it was barely past breakfast)
Several Frozen cokes
A bottle of champagne every night and 2 a night over this last weekend (I’m not an alcoholic, they go to meetings)
Late night cheese and crackers

And there was much more; many Chai lattes, a few Iced Chocolates, cakes, biscuits (that didn’t even taste that good), burgers with the whole bun on (gasp).

I was mindfully eating poorly at almost every meal. Sort of defeated the purpose of the last few weeks in cutting out sugar from my cups of Tea.

I’m not blaming any 1 thing for this out of control week* I was still a functioning adult, the kids were still well looked after mainly because of my dirty little secret.

The really bad shit comes out after dark.

I try not to eat the bad food in front of the kids, you know to set a good example and all that. When they ask for desert I like to respond with fruit and proceed to list everything that we have, they can also have yoghurt if we have any and on a very rare occasion a tube ice-block. So my house is not a barrage of junk because as you can see I often have no self control. The chocolate wouldn’t even get mentioned until they were fast asleep and really there was no-one to mention it to.

My addiction love of reality TV still continues and the latest season of The Biggest Loser Australia has just started. Whilst I was not in any way as BAD as the show made the contestants out to be, they were inhaling entire pizza’s while sitting alone in a car or consuming litres upon litres of ice-cream for breakfast, having a whole tray of lasagne for lunch that should feed a family, I was my own kind of BAD.

I would have to say this is my longest stint of BAD that I have had in over 5 years. Normally I can manage a good day or 2 in a BAD week, but for some reason I couldn’t get off this downhill spiral. I got to Thursday morning and thought it was almost the weekend, so why start now? Normally I can talk myself out of that mindset but not that day.

I even tampered with my own Typo light box motivational message.

I even tampered with my own Typo light box motivational message.

But amongst all of these BAD food choices I was still exercising and setting goals, in fact setting some big ass goals. 1 of which was commencing training for a Marathon on the Concept 2 Indoor Rowing machine and the other signing up to compete in the primo 2k Rowing event a the upcoming Australian Indoor Rowing Championships (I’ve been retired from that event for the last 6 years). So in line with my new training regime I sat on the rower for an hour, my body was screaming at me, “what are you doing to yourself” but even that didn’t stop me eating crap shortly after.

So what have I gained from eating like a piggy? Well about 3 kilos, a continual bloated feeling and generally feeling quite down in the dumps.

What have I lost? The ability to fit in some of my clothes, my motivation and self esteem.

What am I going to do about it? Dust off the chip crumbs and get myself together. With another week of the school holidays to go and a long weekend thrown in there and a holiday coming up this can’t go on. Stop blaming little speed humps in my life, FOCUS on the positive, because there is a lot to be happy and positive about and maybe re-word my Typo light board. Any suggestion?

School Holiday fun

School Holiday fun with my cherubs.








I’m NOT with the Band

Twenty something years ago I was an amateur Band Manager and my Saturday night quote was “I’m with the Band”. My weekends were spent having a couple lot of drinks and watching live bands in some seedy awesome establishments.

Not actual band I managed, but they were almost as good. Image Courtesy of

Not actual band I managed, but they were almost as good.
Image Courtesy of

Fast forward 20 years and the only bands, I’m talking about are hair bands for my mummy bun and my daughters pigtails.

The other band I am not afraid to talk about is my Lapband or Gastric Band.  I got my lapband in June 2010, (read about that here) because I didn’t want to be morbidly obese and pass on my poor food habits to my children. In the 10 years leading up to having my daughter I had put on 50kgs (read about that here). From having my Lapband in until now I have maintained a 22-25kg weight loss. I have no regrets.

But for the past few years my Lapband has been causing me grief with reflux that medication couldn’t always control. This in turn inflamed lower oesophagus and stomach ulcers (that I didn’t know I had), caused internal bleeding (which I didn’t know about) and these unknown complications potentially caused me to pass out while shopping one day with both my kids (5 and 1 year olds), really scary stuff.  I was thankful to be in Athlete’s Foot Wollongong at the time buying school shoes for my daughter and I joked about the price of her shoes causing the fainting episode. The store owner, staff and random members of the public were amazingly helpful and the kids and I got a free ride in an ambulance.

Initially after some tests they thought my fainting was caused by dehydration and low blood pressure, which dropped substantially when going from lying to standing position. A follow up appointment with my doctor 2 days later and it was discovered that it was a combination of all of the above complications. So although the Lapband wasn’t the cause of this it was a bi-product.

So after the last few years of procrastinating about getting my Lapband fixed or removed it all came to a head and I made the decision to have it removed. I went in for surgery just before Easter for what was potentially a 1 or 2 night stay that turned into 3 nights. The surgeon did warn me that getting it out can be a longer recovery than putting it in and he was not wrong. I had really low blood pressure, blurred vision and vomiting and I felt just plain awful.

So 4 weeks post-surgery I am on the mend, I’m back to the gym on light weights and cardio, getting my head around eating well with no restrictions. I will see my surgeon again in 3 months and I have set a weight loss goal of 9kgs. I am focusing on low carb (not cutting carbs completely) and high protein style eating plan as per his recommendations and every other reputable trainer, coach, dietician etc I have ever met.

I am terrified of weight gain. I have just got to the point in my recovery where I am feeling hungry, I have passed through the liquid diet phase of my recovery and had my chocolate binge, milk and milo fix and ice-cream binges (because they are a liquid) and I have thankfully stopped that shenanigans.


My latest mantra is “Don’t waste the fortuity”, (because opportunity wouldn’t fit on my Typo Lightbox) I have to remember that the last almost 5 years with the Lapband have not been easy and I have slogged out countless hours of exercise, mummy guilt abandoning the family to go to the gym, emotional rollercoasters, stress, relationship struggles and wondering if I had done the right thing, to let it all slip away by eating and drinking stupidly.

Weight-loss is made in the kitchen so I am focusing on this primarily and exercise secondly because, honestly, the exercise for me is the easy part.

So the future is uncertain but I am going to give it my all now that I am no longer “with the Band”.

I’m having a moment

Tonight I am spiralling out of mental control. I am analysing and over-analysing my life, my goals, my body, my family, my reasons for doing all that I do and trying to figure out why I am doing it and who I am doing it for.

Tonight’s options as I saw them were A) go and have a shower and go to bed and everything will be fine tomorrow and I will just carry on doing what I am doing, or B) write that crazy shit down and share it with the world.

It all started tonight with my weekly group PT session, I took my little dude “Mr Just Turned 1” and asked my friend to bring her daughter to play with him. Whilst she did her best to entertain him, about 20 minutes into the class he got a glimpse of me and starting screaming, several attempts to calm him and get back to the class failed, I assumed he was probably tired, so I packed us up and went home, I don’t know about you but I can’t finish a workout hearing my baby crying.

The next thing that was getting me worked up was my daughter reading the Junk Mail toy catalogues and getting all excited about Christmas. I was trying to calm her down and say you can ask for things but you may not get them. How do you explain this to a 5 year old, who gets almost everything she asks for? I really want her to have a lean Christmas and not for any other reason than she has too much stuff. Last year after opening all her presents she said where are the rest, it made me want to cry.

So I thought my spiralling mental state was caused by an interrupted workout, upgraded by a spoilt 5 year old. I then started the plotting and planning with my husband as to his start time and when I might be able to get some kid free time at the gym, and I opted for 5am tomorrow, but really who wants to be at the gym at 5am.

The next mass of analysing and in no particular order:
why am I going to the gym so much;
I should be spending more time with my kids;
why do I feel guilty about working out;
why did I even contemplate taking little dude to an evening class, he needs to be home snuggling with a bottle;
why did I have lapband surgery when I still eat crap A LOT;
why am I dreaming of losing weight when I eat the wrong foods;
why can’t I be happy as I am and therefore stop going to the gym;
was I happier when I was fatter and inactive;
why am I nagging my husband to go to the gym when clearly it is not something he wants to do;
does he resent me for nagging him, when all I want is for him to be healthy;
why am I like I am;
why have I had such issues with food ALL MY LIFE;
why should I go to the gym at 5am, what is the point;
maybe I’m not spending enough quality time with my daughter and she is compensating by asking for things, you know PRESENCE not PRESENTS;
what can I eat RIGHT NOW, I’m upset so I deserve something;
would I be happy if I was at my goal weight;
why is my house such a mess, maybe I should spend less time at the gym and more time cleaning;
(I was vacuuming with tears whilst all these crazy thoughts were going around in my head)

I could keep going on ……….

Now amongst all of these negative thoughts I did have a few positives:
I go to the gym because I feel better after;
I’m really enjoying my indoor rowing and training for something (half marathon on the rower);
I prefer to workout for fitness not for weight loss;
I deserve a little ME time every once in a while;
I love to hate running;
running is stupid but now I can do it because I taught myself;
I enjoy being around people.

So there it is, tonight’s mind on a PLATTER (and there’s that food thing again).

Anyone care to share that they could be as loopy as me, don’t leave me hanging out here in crazy land all by myself.


Meal Planning – this is new to me

So last Monday I started a 36 Day Challenge with my gym EnVie, encompassing nutrition and exercise. It teaches you what to eat and when to eat it and most important key to success is meal planning.

I have meal planned before but not for a loooong time. My normal routine would be to open the fridge see my ingredients, if nothing popped into my head I would hit up Google and usually find something tasty to make. I may plan 1 day in advance to put something in the Slow cooker the morning before work but that’s about it. I must say hubby is no help in the dinner department, when I ask what he feels like the usual responses are “I don’t know” or “what do you feel like”. And let’s not go there when I ask Miss 4, her responses range from “Old McDonalds” to a “Restaurant”, we don’t eat out that much so I don’t know where that comes from. I am often cooking 2 meals or variations to suit everyone including myself so this week I was attempting to limit the different meals and plan ahead.

So the meal plan looked like this:
Sun – Lamb Rissoles with sweet potato chips (Actual Meal – Lamb rissoles with flatbread, tzaziki and rocket)
Mon – Beef stroganoff with cauliflower puree (Actual Meal – Beef and vegetable lasagne)
Tue – Beef and vegetable lasagne (Actual meal – beef and vegetable Lasagne)
Wed – Chicken Rosemary hotpot (Actual meal – chicken Rosemary hotpot)
Thur – Chicken enchiladas (Actual meal – Lamb cutlets with parmesan herb crust)
Fri – Homemade Pizza (Actual meal – Homemade Pizza chicken and pesto pizza)
Sat – Thai take-away making better choices (Actual meal – Homemade chicken tenders)

I don't often like a full length photo but I felt really good in this outfit and received lots of compliments.

I don’t often like a full length photo but I felt really good in this outfit and received lots of compliments.

So all in all fairly close to the plan and everything except Sat’s dinner out of the 36 Day Challenge Recipe List. Saturday I was allowing myself a non-judgemental day with food and alcohol as I went to the races for a friend’s birthday. In saying that I was better behaved than normal in both departments and opted to come home after the races instead of kicking on with the girls and actually got up to do an 8am Sunday training session.

Variations were minimal for Miss 4, she had mince and homemade corn chips out of flatbread instead of lasagne, her chicken was not in the hotpot and her lamb was not herb crusted.

So food wise I would rate that I was about 80% on track and exercise 100% all 4 sessions planned were done, plus the Fit Fab Forty monthly push-up challenge was about 90% done on the right day.

Planning and shopping list all done for Week 2 so I will leave you with these wise words


Eating Disorder – I’m not Fat

Eating disorders can come in many forms, anorexia, bulemia, binge eating and many many more. I look back at my history and believe I have a form of eating disorder, I thought it could have been a Reverse Anorexia but that is a known muscle dysmorphia, definitely not what I have.

My (unnamed) problem over the years was more about looking in the mirror and turning on an angle and sucking myself in putting on nice clothes, applying make-up and saying to myself “you are not fat, you look good”.

There is nothing wrong with being happy with how you look but I should have looked a bit closer. I like many other women enjoyed shopping and but I would struggle with finding clothes that fit and looked nice, but I would eventually find them and feel good wearing them. And each time I bought the next size up I would blame the factories for inconsistent sizing. I often got compliments like “you dress really nice for a big girl”. I was also a keen shopper for “gut sucking” granny nickers, shorts and camisole’s and I wore them all the time (and still do).

Reality would hit when I saw a photo of myself from an unflattering angle and then I would almost blame the person who took the photo.

It seems a lot of other people were blamed for my issues.

Don’t get me wrong I knew I was Plus Size and I knew the weight was creeping on (read about it here), I was obviously enjoying life too much and wasn’t ready for change. It wasn’t until I was due to get married that I thought I didn’t want to be a fat bride and embarked on my own NFB (No Fat Bride) campaign with my personal trainer. Whilst I lost a little bit of weight, I could have lost more before the big day and it is a regret I will have to live with.

In recent years the weight loss programs that have sparked my interest are those that promote “Lifestyle Changes” and my motto has been to make better choices every day.

When the next 36 day challenge came up at my gym EnVie Fitness Woonona, I jumped at the chance to get involved. I am in the best headspace that I can remember so I am on a mission. I have learned a lot this week about weight-loss using food and exercise to my advantage so it is time to put that knowledge into practice. The official start date is Monday 10th March but I am not waiting lifestyle changes begin now.


If anyone is doing The 36 Day Challenge at EnVie Fitness Woonona if you post anything about the challenge on Facebook or Instagram use the hashtag #enviewoonona36daychallenge if you are making any other lifestyle changes use #everydaybetterchoices or use both. I look forward to reading up on how everyone else is going.

It’s not too late to sign up and join in.

The Bizarre and Unusual Sport of Paintball

I met my husband in 2004 on an online dating site and in his profile it said he played an unusual sport at a Professional Level. I was intrigued. He soon introduced me to crazy the world of competition paintball.

After watching him a few times and the speed and velocity of the paintballs flying around and the action on the field it was something to behold. He was, and still is a fantastic player and was known for being 1 of the fastest shooters in the Australian game.

I had played Paintball once about 5 years earlier in the bush after winning a radio competition and didn’t really get too involved just watched the front runners win the game for us. It was fun.

Generally speaking there are 2 different styles of paintball in Australia, 1 being bush ball, which as its name describes is playing in the bush and the 2nd is Sup-air where the game is played on a football style field with inflated obstacles known as bunkers. (As most of my readers are non-paintball players I will speak in laymans terms, like many sports Paintball has its own language).

A year into our relationship and I was personally thrown into his unusual sport, hubby signed me up for an amateur charity tournament, with no training, kitted me out in all his hand-me-down gear. They tell me I was the best dressed amateur in town. Because I was such a “newbie” towards the end of the tournament they gave me an advanced Marker (aka paintball gun) and I could shoot a lot faster, don’t think it made all that much difference but I had a great time.


At my first tournament. The best dressed “Newbie” in town.

My addictive and competitive personality took over and before I knew it I was going to training with him every 2nd weekend. Pretty soon I was invited to join an all-girls team “Bitchin” in the Semi-pro Division, I was not very good but keen to learn. My position was as a “Back” player, this is a non-glory position where you keep the firepower humming so that the front runners can move up the field and win the game. This was also hubby’s position on his team, he taught me a lot about shooting fast and playing better and was my biggest supporter.

Over the years that I played I was fluctuating around my heaviest weight, but I was sort of fit as I was doing my Indoor Rowing 2-4 times a week, but as I have said before every sport is different type of fit and after a weekend of playing tournament Paintball the muscles sure felt every bit of the games.

Over time my skills improved and our all girls team “Bitchin” morphed into a co-ed team as at that time it was hard to find female players in a male dominated sport. After we went co-ed we won and placed at a few Tournaments in Semi-Pro Division. The last tournaments I played with Bitchin in Nov 2007 were The Masters which is the biggest tourney of the year in Australia and then we finished off the year in December with a highly competitive tournament in Malaysia, we just missed out on making the final 4.

Team Bitchin' as we competed in Malaysia. Photo Credit - Desmond Foo - The Third Eye

Team Bitchin’ as we competed in Malaysia, I’m on the right.
Photo Credit – Desmond Foo – The Third Eye

Among the action in Malaysia with my Pink Gun (paintball is a highly accessorised sport).

Among the action in Malaysia with my Pink Gun (paintball is a highly accessorised sport).
Photo Credit – Desmond Foo – The Third Eye

The shot that makes me cringe, if I had shot him before he shot me we would have made the finals.  Photo credit - Desmond Foo - The Third Eye

The shot that makes me cringe, if I had shot him before he shot me we would have made the finals in Malaysia.
Photo credit – Desmond Foo – The Third Eye

Hubby and I were both largely overweight and talked a lot about if we were slimmer how much better we could play. I still sit back and wonder why, with my competitive nature this game and my desire to be better, could not inspire me to lose weight. I wanted so much to be able to move up the field and take some of the “glory”, which I did in a few games but not as much as I would have liked. There were other aspects as well including the clothing that you could buy, some styles of pants didn’t come in my size, others were uncomfortably tight, I always had to buy mens T-shirts not the nice ladies styles and sometimes even the mens didn’t fit, secretly this really bothered me, but obviously not enough to do anything about it.

The reason I have dragged up my BB (before baby) paintball life, is that some of the girls who I have previously played with from the USA (it is a much bigger sport overseas) came to play a tournament recently and it rekindled my desire to get back out and play. Now as much as it is not practical for me as a mother to be out playing and training every 2nd weekend I would relish the chance to jump on the field for a tournament and play with some of my old gal pals. I would like to see if being 20+ kilograms lighter could make me a better and faster player and I would like to get out there and inflict some pain on some of the boys.

I made some great and lifelong friends both in Australian and overseas from playing paintball and hubby and I had some of our best times travelling around Australia and internationally playing Paintball, even incorporating a trip to Huntington Beach USA into our honeymoon to watch a major event.

When I go to watch a game I realise I really do miss it, so look out one day soon, my pink gun and I might make a comeback at a Paintball field near you.

Introducing – Master Kirby

So 2 weeks ago a new little man entered my life and stole another piece of my heart. He is so adorable and I’m not the only 1 who thinks so.

I was scheduled to have a possible Caesar almost from the beginning of my pregnancy, with different triggers throughout my pregnancy eventually confirming the procedure. My doctor arranged it 10 days before my due date and as any pregnant woman will know those last few weeks become more awkward and uncomfortable so the earlier the better as far as I was concerned.

My doctor operates in the afternoon so fluffing around the house until it was time to leave around midday was strange, knowing that in a few hours we would have our new addition to the family. Throughout my pregnancy I felt like I was having a boy and secretly hoping, but as any parent will agree, I was just hoping for a healthy baby. But when the nurse announced that it was a boy I burst into tears.

The name Kirby had been in the pipeline for over 4 years from when I was pregnant with Miss 4 and it was 1 of the few boy names that hubby and I both agreed upon so was kept secret just in case we were ever blessed with a little man and here he is.

Introducing my little man - Kirby at 1 day old.

Introducing my little man – Kirby at 1 day old.

Weighing in at 8lb 11oz or 3930g, 53cm long they say he was a big boy but a newborn is still tiny to me.

Now to give you my pregnancy stats my starting weight was 108.8kg (240lb) and on the morning of “baby day” I was 122.8kg so exactly 14kg (31lb) gain all of which I had put in on the last half of my pregnancy. Exactly a week later I was 113.9kg so nearly 9kg lost (I amazed myself). Now 2 weeks later I am only 2kgs off my pre-pregnancy weight so watch this space.

The week that was – Quarterly Report

I have not done a weekly wrap up for waaaay too long so I thought I would call this post the Quarterly Report.

The reason for being MIA is a combination of numerous things:

1)      Pregnancy – it is hard to find things to write or brag about when you are not striving for new goals, it has taken a few months to realise that you can’t be doing PB’s whilst in 2nd and now 3rd trimester of pregnancy, you are carrying an important cargo and must take things a little easier than before.

2)      Sickness – for about 6 weeks on and off I have been sick, lethargic, tired and whingey (if you believe my hubby). It has been a combination of never ending runny nose, horrid reflux and flu-like symptoms and not being able to take medication has made it drag on and on. Occasionally I would have a good week and then relapse again. I am pleased to say I have been sickness free for about 2 weeks. During my sickness, cake, sweet food and take-away has been my friend and in 6 weeks I have put on about 5kg.

3)      Candy Crush – OMG anyone who plays this absurd time-wasting phone/Facebook app/game will understand its addictiveness, I started playing this game about 6 months ago but got really addicted while I was sick and plonked on the lounge, bored with TV choices I would play it non-stop from the time Miss 3 would go to bed until I could barely keep my eyes open or run out of lives. I heard on the lolly-vine that the game had an ending so I played it so much until finally about a week ago I finished Level 335 and it would not let me play anymore. THE END. I have been having massive withdrawals and checking almost daily that they have not created an update for the game which may let me play on. I hope that day never comes or enough time has lapsed that I stop looking for more Candy Crush.

So with all of my excuses behind me it was time to get my head back into my fitness and keep my pregnancy weight gain under wraps. It had been over 8 weeks since I had a review of my gym program so I scheduled that in to get me on the right track for where I was with my pregnancy.

Whilst I was sick I was still managing 1-2 sessions a week when I could function and was still doing a little bit of jalking (jog/walk) during my outdoor class and some running intervals on the treadmill.

This week I managed to get to my Tuesday Buggy Fit (mums n bubs) class, I have slowed down a lot to a jog or brisk walk, but found things like push-ups, burpees and other exercises where you go from ground to feet a lot more difficult. Some of this weeks’ exercises involved some short runs and then 3 push-ups, my theory or logic was if I’m getting on the ground I’m going to make the most of it, ie 10 push-ups, so that is what I did.

Wednesday morning I went for my gym program review, the outcome was no more running on the treadmill, instead do a fast walk on an incline and to drop down my leg weights by about half, like leg presses and leg raises but keep arm and upper body the same. It was also suggested to do cardio and legs 1 day and then cardio and arms in another session. So I stuck around and did my cardio/legs session before work.

Saturday morning after a terrible night’s sleep I decided to push through the tiredness and did my cardio/arms session. The weather was beautiful and warm and later in the day I really wanted to go for a swim in our local ocean pool. I feared that I would get to the pool and dip a toe in and chicken out, hubby suggested not dipping a toe in and just diving in the water. I made a pact that if the water temp was 19 degrees or warmer I would go. So hubby gets his Google on and tells me that the temp was 19 on the dot, damn him and Google. So off I went. Upon putting on my swimmers and boardies on I felt like a beached whale, best not to look in the mirror. I realised that I had not been swimming at all since I did my last triathlon and I was concerned that I have lost a lot of my fitness. Anyway I got in the water up to my knees and was having 2nd thoughts it was cold, but after standing there for a few minutes I decided to dive off the step and just get wet. So I plunged in, gasped a little bit (unlike a similar time last year, read about it here) and proceeded to do a few laps, I managed to do 500m starting and stopping, I could have done more but decided after already being at the gym to not push too hard, but swimming is something that I think will get me through this 3rd pregnancy trimester.

So after getting 3 sessions and a swim in 1 week I was happy and have a bit of motivation back. This weeks’ goal is to do it all again and maybe swim for longer (in a princess heated pool). Lay off the cake and I have been indulging in a bit too much soft drink so I need to back off that a bit too.

As full as Fondue

There is a scale by which fullness is gauged in our house it is “Fondue Night”. This refers to a night when hubby and I were on our Honeymoon in Canada and dined in a Swiss restaurant at Chalet Lake Louise. On this particular night I was so excited by the food on offer, as usual I ordered too much, we had cheese fondue, meat and seafood fondue and chocolate desert fondue. Everything was delicious and therefore my brain did not register that I was full, so I kept eating. When we got back to our room we both quickly discovered that we may have over-eaten and both felt ridiculously full. I can assure you there was no romantic honeymooning after that, lying on our respective sides of the bed like beached whales, it hurt to touch my stomach, there was lots of moaning and groaning about how full we were. It was very unpleasant and uncomfortable.

Last night hubby and I had a rare child-free, grown-up night out at a Pop-Up Restaurant in our local area, 13 courses with matching wines (yes I’m pregnant and had a few sips, don’t judge me). Pop-up restaurants apart from Reality TV show types ie Masterchef are a rare thing in Australia but are common overseas.

All dressed up for a grown-up night out.

All dressed up for a grown-up night out.

Azarak Experimental Restaurant is, as its name suggests is experimental, but I can assure you all the experimenting must be done well before time because every course was a hit. It is food done differently and ooooh so tasty.  Invitations are only extended to people who express interest on their Facebook page and then you are randomly chosen and given a “Golden Ticket” to the event. You are told of the suburb where the dinner will be held but not the exact location until 24 hours before, so it adds to the excitement. They also taunt you with fabulous pictures of their food on their Facebook page leading up to your night. Now I can be a bit of a bogan when it comes to food and I would say this is only the 2nd time I have lashed out and tried what I would consider “fancy food” or fine dining so not being a “foodie” my review may be a little simpler than the actual dishes.

Round 2 - Bitter chocolate espuma, basils, marigolds.

Round 2 – Bitter chocolate espuma, basils, marigolds.

beets, tea-smoke labneh, purple clover, nasturtium pods

beets, tea-smoke labneh, purple clover, nasturtium pods


Eating my Curds and "Whey"

Eating my Curds and “Whey”

This dish makes my No 2 of the night, Carrots and their earth. Apparently slow cooked for 7 hours in earth. The chef then recreated the bed of soil using nuts and coconut, like a crumble to serve, delicious!

This dish makes my No 2 of the night, Carrots and their earth. Apparently slow cooked for 7 hours in earth. The chef then recreated the bed of soil using nuts and coconut, like a crumble to serve, delicious!

I started eating before I took a photo - Confit salmon, sea forages, shaved bonito. Mine was cooked well because I'm pregnant.

I started eating before I took a photo – Confit salmon, sea forages, shaved bonito. Mine was cooked well because I’m pregnant.

Called "V6" this is purple potato with vanilla oil and vanilla salt.

Called “V6” this is purple potato with vanilla oil and vanilla salt.

Pork belly - need I say more

Pork belly – need I say more

I was getting full with 5 courses to go and I pushed on, admittedly I tasted each of the final plates but didn’t finish them, mostly because I was saving myself for Dessert. The thing I should have done differently is “NO BREAD”. They had freshly baked focaccia and sour dough which came around twice in the early courses and because at this point you are still hungry, saying NO was not an option and I enjoyed every mouthful.

Fat duck and popcorn - this is their signature dish.

Fat duck and popcorn – this is their signature dish.

Fillet, wild garlic, wild forages

Fillet, wild garlic, wild forages


Round 1 of desserts - Un-fried egg, sorbet yolk with sweet gooey goodness as the egg white.

Round 1 of desserts – Un-fried egg, sorbet yolk with sweet gooey goodness as the egg white.

Named "Eat your damned vegetables" this was a mostly vegetable dish that tasted like a dessert, very tricky.

Named “Eat your damned vegetables” this was a mostly vegetable dish that tasted like a dessert, very tricky.



This was the reason I wanted to go along to sample the goodness - "Ultra" Violet Crumble - a delicious mix of pannacotta, honeycomb, violet meringue and then turned into a production with a live display of violet and milk sorbet churned with dry ice. Sitting to dine under UV/black lights with your dessert glowing at you, truly amazing.

This was the reason I wanted to go along to sample the goodness – “Ultra” Violet Crumble – a delicious mix of pannacotta, honeycomb, violet meringue and then turned into a production with a live display of violet and milk sorbet churned with dry ice. Sitting to dine under UV/black lights with your dessert glowing at you, truly amazing.

Check out the YouTube video of the dry ice display here.

The night finished off with a fun creation of a "Rorschach" which in this case was making a creation out of coloured tempered white chocolate. I was too busy licking the spoon between colours an was too slow to fold mine in half and my chocolate had set into a gooey mess but hubby's turned out well.

The night finished off with a fun creation of a “Rorschach” which in this case was making a creation out of coloured tempered white chocolate. I was too busy licking the spoon between colours an was too slow to fold mine in half and my chocolate had set into a gooey mess but hubby’s turned out well.


You should treat yourself at least once in your lifetime to dine outside your comfort zone, warning it could become addictive.

Apart from bragging about eating delicious food the other purpose of this story is about overeating, it is still difficult over 5 years on from Fondue night and 3 years on from Lapbanding to stop overeating. The challenge with eating with a lapband is I would love to have the freedom on a fine dining night to be able to consume everything but day-to-day be restricted, you know, the best of both worlds.

Over the last few weeks I seem to have issues with over-eating and have had sickly full feeling a few too many times, it could be the baby pushing on my stomach, but more than likely it’s my food intake causing the problem. I need to get my head back in smaller portion mode.

Are you a serial over-eater or do you go overboard rarely on a special night out?

The Athlete within the Fathlete

So since completing my 3 Triathlons this season I joined a few Facebook groups as 1 does to chat with like-minded people and was regarded in some conversations as an Athlete and even once an Elite Athlete. I find this really hard to grasp, it is not a name that I would have ever considered being associated with me. I would be more inclined to say I am an Indoor Rower or I was a Horserider or I have done a few Triathlons, but if you were to switch it around and say, I am a Triathlete then that word “Athlete” seems to pop in there. The word scares me.

As much as I wanted and still want to lose weight I am proud of what I have done whilst still very overweight, I guess I am living proof that you can be fat and fit. I realise that being overweight is unhealthy and puts more stress than needed on my body and joints and am continuously fighting the never-ending weight battle as I have for all of my adult life.

I will keep fit and continue the battle with the bulge.

Thu Urban Dictionary even has a Definition of FATHLETE

A person that despite is fat can play sports very well and sometimes even better than the average athletes.
Person #1 : Whoa Ryan can sure run fast for a fat person
Person #2: Yea no kidding he’s a world class fathlete
I could be considered a World Class FATHLETE

I could be considered a World Class FATHLETE