Tag Archives: obese

My dirty little secret

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Aaahhhh school holidays, a time that some mums love and some dread. I sit on the fence when it comes to school holidays. I enjoy doing the fun stuff with the kids, movies, play dates, lunching and just hanging at home and love the lack of schedule, no yelling and screaming to put shoes on grab bags, jumpers, hats (I’m sure you get the picture). But even with all the fun some days you just need an hour to yourself to have a shower, do a workout, plan or prepare dinner, I’m sure there are some mums nodding along with me (please tell me you are). And I am blessed that I can take the kids to work with me when I need to (the perks of working for family).

This holidays I have taken things to a whole new level of “falling off the wagon”.

The last day of school was a Friday which also coincided with my husband going on an overseas trip and a 7am drop off at the airport, this was all fine, followed by kids dropped at school/daycare on time and me heading off to work. On the way to work I realised I needed fuel in my car so I stopped to fill ‘er up. Well the sales and marketing people at Coles saw me coming, 2 family blocks of chocolate for $7 what a bargain and $2 large bags of chips, “I’ll have 2 bags of those thanks” after all it was Friday and people might pop in over the weekend (this is what I do to justify it to myself). And there began the downhill spiral that was the next 10 days.

On the way home from work I did a quick run to the bottle shop for some supplies for the week and promptly bragged jokingly about it on Instagram.

With a post that went something like this "Should be almost enough to get me through the 1st week of the #schoolholidays

With a post that went something like this “Should be almost enough to get me through the 1st week of the #schoolholidays

Whilst I won’t bore you with the details of every morsel that I ate and drank, I’ll give you a list of what I can remember about my total debacle of a week* (*10 days).

3 family blocks of Cadbury chocolate
Somewhere in the vicinity of 4 large bags of chips
Half a litre of Ice Cream
2x Schnitzel Cotoletta (this is a chicken schnitzel topped with Bolognese meat and melted cheese, I didn’t even know it existed, epic find)
1 loaf of Sourdough in about 3 days often doused in butter and peanut butter (up to 3-4 pieces at a time)
Copious amounts of other bread products
KFC twister and Crusher
Movie popcorn (I shared it, because that makes it all better)
Double choc-top (because a single just wasn’t enough and it was barely past breakfast)
Several Frozen cokes
A bottle of champagne every night and 2 a night over this last weekend (I’m not an alcoholic, they go to meetings)
Late night cheese and crackers

And there was much more; many Chai lattes, a few Iced Chocolates, cakes, biscuits (that didn’t even taste that good), burgers with the whole bun on (gasp).

I was mindfully eating poorly at almost every meal. Sort of defeated the purpose of the last few weeks in cutting out sugar from my cups of Tea.

I’m not blaming any 1 thing for this out of control week* I was still a functioning adult, the kids were still well looked after mainly because of my dirty little secret.

The really bad shit comes out after dark.

I try not to eat the bad food in front of the kids, you know to set a good example and all that. When they ask for desert I like to respond with fruit and proceed to list everything that we have, they can also have yoghurt if we have any and on a very rare occasion a tube ice-block. So my house is not a barrage of junk because as you can see I often have no self control. The chocolate wouldn’t even get mentioned until they were fast asleep and really there was no-one to mention it to.

My addiction love of reality TV still continues and the latest season of The Biggest Loser Australia has just started. Whilst I was not in any way as BAD as the show made the contestants out to be, they were inhaling entire pizza’s while sitting alone in a car or consuming litres upon litres of ice-cream for breakfast, having a whole tray of lasagne for lunch that should feed a family, I was my own kind of BAD.

I would have to say this is my longest stint of BAD that I have had in over 5 years. Normally I can manage a good day or 2 in a BAD week, but for some reason I couldn’t get off this downhill spiral. I got to Thursday morning and thought it was almost the weekend, so why start now? Normally I can talk myself out of that mindset but not that day.

I even tampered with my own Typo light box motivational message.

I even tampered with my own Typo light box motivational message.

But amongst all of these BAD food choices I was still exercising and setting goals, in fact setting some big ass goals. 1 of which was commencing training for a Marathon on the Concept 2 Indoor Rowing machine and the other signing up to compete in the primo 2k Rowing event a the upcoming Australian Indoor Rowing Championships (I’ve been retired from that event for the last 6 years). So in line with my new training regime I sat on the rower for an hour, my body was screaming at me, “what are you doing to yourself” but even that didn’t stop me eating crap shortly after.

So what have I gained from eating like a piggy? Well about 3 kilos, a continual bloated feeling and generally feeling quite down in the dumps.

What have I lost? The ability to fit in some of my clothes, my motivation and self esteem.

What am I going to do about it? Dust off the chip crumbs and get myself together. With another week of the school holidays to go and a long weekend thrown in there and a holiday coming up this can’t go on. Stop blaming little speed humps in my life, FOCUS on the positive, because there is a lot to be happy and positive about and maybe re-word my Typo light board. Any suggestion?

School Holiday fun

School Holiday fun with my cherubs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m NOT with the Band

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Twenty something years ago I was an amateur Band Manager and my Saturday night quote was “I’m with the Band”. My weekends were spent having a couple lot of drinks and watching live bands in some seedy awesome establishments.

Not actual band I managed, but they were almost as good. Image Courtesy of http://www.rockbandaide.com

Not actual band I managed, but they were almost as good.
Image Courtesy of http://www.rockbandaide.com

Fast forward 20 years and the only bands, I’m talking about are hair bands for my mummy bun and my daughters pigtails.

The other band I am not afraid to talk about is my Lapband or Gastric Band.  I got my lapband in June 2010, (read about that here) because I didn’t want to be morbidly obese and pass on my poor food habits to my children. In the 10 years leading up to having my daughter I had put on 50kgs (read about that here). From having my Lapband in until now I have maintained a 22-25kg weight loss. I have no regrets.

But for the past few years my Lapband has been causing me grief with reflux that medication couldn’t always control. This in turn inflamed lower oesophagus and stomach ulcers (that I didn’t know I had), caused internal bleeding (which I didn’t know about) and these unknown complications potentially caused me to pass out while shopping one day with both my kids (5 and 1 year olds), really scary stuff.  I was thankful to be in Athlete’s Foot Wollongong at the time buying school shoes for my daughter and I joked about the price of her shoes causing the fainting episode. The store owner, staff and random members of the public were amazingly helpful and the kids and I got a free ride in an ambulance.

Initially after some tests they thought my fainting was caused by dehydration and low blood pressure, which dropped substantially when going from lying to standing position. A follow up appointment with my doctor 2 days later and it was discovered that it was a combination of all of the above complications. So although the Lapband wasn’t the cause of this it was a bi-product.

So after the last few years of procrastinating about getting my Lapband fixed or removed it all came to a head and I made the decision to have it removed. I went in for surgery just before Easter for what was potentially a 1 or 2 night stay that turned into 3 nights. The surgeon did warn me that getting it out can be a longer recovery than putting it in and he was not wrong. I had really low blood pressure, blurred vision and vomiting and I felt just plain awful.

So 4 weeks post-surgery I am on the mend, I’m back to the gym on light weights and cardio, getting my head around eating well with no restrictions. I will see my surgeon again in 3 months and I have set a weight loss goal of 9kgs. I am focusing on low carb (not cutting carbs completely) and high protein style eating plan as per his recommendations and every other reputable trainer, coach, dietician etc I have ever met.

I am terrified of weight gain. I have just got to the point in my recovery where I am feeling hungry, I have passed through the liquid diet phase of my recovery and had my chocolate binge, milk and milo fix and ice-cream binges (because they are a liquid) and I have thankfully stopped that shenanigans.

IMG_20150414_215605

My latest mantra is “Don’t waste the fortuity”, (because opportunity wouldn’t fit on my Typo Lightbox) I have to remember that the last almost 5 years with the Lapband have not been easy and I have slogged out countless hours of exercise, mummy guilt abandoning the family to go to the gym, emotional rollercoasters, stress, relationship struggles and wondering if I had done the right thing, to let it all slip away by eating and drinking stupidly.

Weight-loss is made in the kitchen so I am focusing on this primarily and exercise secondly because, honestly, the exercise for me is the easy part.

So the future is uncertain but I am going to give it my all now that I am no longer “with the Band”.

Gaining Weight – The Horror Story

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For the last 22 years (all of my adult life) there have been many many many attempts at losing weight. Multiple times for some things.

So I am a hoarder, especially when it comes to weight loss programs, I have drawers and cupboards full of programs. I found a few of my Weight Watchers weigh-in cards and this is where the Horror Story begins:

And here I thought I was fat.

And here I thought I was fat.

Feb-Jun 1995 (age 22)
Starting weight 87.5kg
Finish 83.1kg
Total Loss 4.4kg

Aug-Oct 1999
Starting Weight 109.2kg
Finish 106.8kg
Total Loss 2.4kg

Apr-Jul 2004
Starting Weight 108.7kg
Finish 106kg
Total Loss 2.7kg

Jun-Aug 2005
Starting Weight 129.3kg
Finish 128.1kg
Total Loss 1.2kg

1994 - One of my major horse riding acheivments competing at Sydney Royal Easter Show.

1994 – One of my major horse riding acheivments competing at Sydney Royal Easter Show.

Wow putting this down on paper has been really scary, the thought that in 10 years I put on 45kgs is horrifying considering my attempts were all to lose weight not gain it. I can see how if you average it out 4.5kg per year can just creep on and you just go up 1 size in clothes and voila 10 years later you are hitting size 24-26 and 45kg heavier.

Some other things I have tried over the years have been; Tony Ferguson (shakes), Hypnotherapy, Online weight loss, a variety of other shake programs, Dietician, The Biggest Loser Club, the Cabbage Soup diet, Calorie counting, low carb, no-carb, Light ‘n’ Easy and Sure Slim. These are just the memorable one’s, memorable because all of them were epic fails. I will admit now that it was never the plan or program that I was on that was a failure, it was all me. I could never stick to anything for any decent length of time or I would be the Weekday Angel and Weekend Devil. Basically all of my adult life I have been on 1 diet or another. Monday “Begin Again Girl”, that’s me.  

I was every Gym’s dream member, signing up so many times and then not attending, I have bought fitness equipment off late night Infomercials that later got sold in a garage sale or didn’t sell and therefore the Ab Sculpter is still under my stairs 15 years later.

At my blossoming best.

At my blossoming best.

I had an epiphany (just now) as to what key factor happened in 1995 to start the uphill weight climb, in 1995 I sold my beloved horse, I had ridden horses since I was about 9 and competed at a fairly decent level. So going cold turkey on the only exercise I had every really known I would say played a big part in my weight gain.  

Not to mention I had my driver’s licence and fast food outlets were booming and popping up conveniently (with a small detour) on my way home from work.

So all these years later I may have just discovered where my Horror Story began, do you know what triggered your weight gain and how successful have your weight loss plans been?

Here I am the fat funny person.

Here I am at my heaviest (excluding pregnancy) still the fat funny person.

Once upon a time ….. I got a Lap Band

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This post has been in draft format for quite a while, mainly because I never had the photo’s I wanted to go with it.

So nearly 3 years ago I had a Lap Band or Gastric Band surgically put in to try and aid with weight loss.

What is Lap banding or Gastric Banding? It is a “Keyhole/Laparoscopic” surgical procedure which takes about 30-45 mins, it is fastened around the upper stomach to create a smaller pouch which restricts the amount of food that can be consumed. They also place a port on your abdominals to give access for adjustments. Adjustments are simply done in your Doctors surgery by inserting or removing fluid to restrict or allow less or more food.

Just like this.

Just like this.

How much does “Lap Banding” cost? Well from memory it was about $16,000 full cost per person and about $5000-6000 out of pocket after our Health Fund (Top Cover) paid their part. I think Private Health Funds are becoming more aware of the fact, this type of Surgery is becoming more popular and changing their Cover so that only their Top Policy covers this. FYI at the time Hubby was with NIB and I was with NRMA (now Bupa). If you are considering it, contact your Private Health Insurer or if you don’t have one, then get 1, most from what I have heard require you to have the relevant cover for 12 months before the procedure. There are other surgical options, the sleeve or tube or gastric bypass and the temporary stomach balloon, so best to talk with a Gastric Banding specialist to see which 1, if any, are right for you.

To share my personal experience of Lap Banding, I have mixed emotions.

Top pic at 132kg (my heaviest excluding my pregnancy). Bottom pic at 107kg after a 25kg loss. Bottom photo by http://www.bethtahiriphotography.com.au/

Top pic at 132kg (my heaviest excluding my pregnancy). Bottom pic at 107kg after a 25kg loss. Bottom photo by http://www.bethtahiriphotography.com.au/

On the positive side: I have lost 25kgs and feel great; because of that it has given me the energy I need to exercise more and not put so much stress on my body carrying around all that extra weight; it has shown me I don’t need to sit down to giant meals or 3 courses all the time; I have learnt to share food (despite what my husband may say); I have been able to wear nicer clothes and feel better about how I am looking; I like getting my picture taken, more than I used to; I love that I have much better agility and ability to play with my little dynamite daughter.

On the negative side: “Keyhole” surgery, left 5 scars, 4 small and 1 much larger than I expected (see picture); if you are not careful how and what you eat you can vomit (often), this can also lead to slipping of the band and require further surgical procedure to rectify or have the band removed; over-eating with the band can cause reflux. I have had all of the above happen to me, I over-ate just a little bit ie 1 mouthful, too often, ended up on reflux medication, vomited one too many times and my band has slipped. What I did to fix this was have all fluid removed from the band and the reflux was gone immediately and I am assessing having the corrective surgery. But for the moment I am trying to eat better without having fluid in, it still offers restriction without fluid. The other negative is that you can eat junk food easier than you can eat healthy food, lettuce, apples, steak, dry chicken breast are all more difficult to eat than chocolate, chips/crisps, chicken schnitzel, cheese and crackers. This absolutely differs by the individual, as hubby and I have different things we can eat without trouble. Another negative is I got to 50% of my weight loss and plateaued and have been there for over 2 years, fluctuating by 3-5kgs over that time.

The scar on my left side about 8cm wide. It has gotten better over the years but it is still a big hole.

The scar on my left side about 8cm wide. It has gotten better over the years but it is still a big hole.

My Lap band doctor has said throughout the process that everyone going through the surgery should see a Psychologist, because as much as it is a weight-loss aid it still doesn’t fix the underlying problem that most patients have with food. Personally I think it should be compulsory.

In summary, I would do it again, YES, a 25kg loss is great and I haven’t been fitter in my adult life than I am now. But if you are considering it I would definitely look at some assistance from a Psychologist and/or dietician or other slow weight loss program and give it another go before going under the knife. I had tried a lot of options over the years and there will be an entire post about that at a later date.

Who am I?

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I am Rachael a 39.5 year old wife and mother of Miss 2.75.

So here I start 6 months before my 40th Birthday, debating whether I am going through a mid-life crisis and freaking out by focusing on exercise and trying, trying, trying to eat better.

I have a wonderful husband, family and friends who support me in everything I do, we have a daughter “Miss 2.75” who is adorable, cheeky, a little bit naughty, super cute and super super smart.

This is a recent photo weighing in at 108kgs. Taken at Cadbury Chocolate Factory in Tasmania, Australia

Fat to Fit and Fabulous by Forty is a blog about my current journey of weight-loss and fitness, my personal challenges, food addiction, insecurities and everything that goes along with being “Double Extra Gorgeous” and just wanting to be “Mildly Extra Gorgeous”, not to mention how the hell I got here in the first place. I am a fun, “CAN DO” kind of person, I will have a go an anything once, and if I love it will do it again and again, I think that is where my addictive personality comes out. I see myself as the “Funny Fat” girl. I have been overweight all of my life, always being the biggest at school (or so I though) and blossoming in my 20’s, excessively blossoming in my 30’s and hitting my biggest after our Honeymoon and then exploding during pregnancy. To give you some idea I am 168cm tall and on my Wedding Day I weighed 124kgs, after the Honeymoon (6-8 weeks later) weighed 132kgs and on the day I gave birth was 146kgs and was 146cm around the middle (coincidence) who knows.

About 8 months after I having our daughter, hubby and I both decided to have “Lap Band Surgery”, we had debated it prior to our wedding but thought we could do it (lose weight) on our own. We were of the opinion 1 in all in (ie both of us should do it or not at all) and he decided against it, so I chickened out as well. But it is amazing what bringing a small person into your life will do, the desire to live longer, be healthier and not inflict your poor food choices onto your “Offspring” becomes a major priority. My parents helped us out financially with the “Gap” costs of the surgery and we were very much supported by both our families.

So here I am about 25kgs down from prior to the Surgery and weighing in at 107.7kgs, I have plateaued for about 12 months going up and down by a couple of kgs over that time.

I invite you to follow my journey for the next 6 months to see if I can achieve my weight loss and fitness goals.

Rachael